I started 2019 with a scripting exercise. If you don’t know what it is, you can just Google it for reference. It’s a “manifestation” tool promoted by believers of the “law of attraction”. Basically it’s like writing down what you want to happen in your life as if it’s already happening. That’s one way to interpret it. So I scripted, Back in January of last year I was starting a new part time sales job. I had goals for the year and I wrote them down. Or actually, I typed them down. Every day for that month I would open Word and type my goals, but it wasn’t enough to just type them, you have to imagine the feelings you’ll have once those goals are achieved. So I scripted, imagined I was giddy with excitement, and visualized my life weeks and months ahead. I’ll cut through the chase. Whatever I was hoping for and working towards financially didn’t happen. I ended up quitting that sales job after six months as it was starting to affect my health and our home life. Whatever I “asked the universe” in terms of material things, well, they didn’t materialize. But I did hit two of my major goals: First, to give Jacob a nice Jollibee birthday. Second, to be able to take JC and Jacob to the US. The Jollibee birthday was something JC and I planned and saved for. With a budget in mind we had to make sure we were setting aside a portion of our salaries every month. P30,000 might be a small amount for some, but it was enough for us to summon a little bit more discipline in our spending. We had huge overhead expenses after all. I realized that for my second major goal, I was not very specific as to “who” will finance this trip. I just said I wanted to go to the US, but it ended up being my sister and my dad who made it possible for us to go. We are very, very thankful. While I relied on “the universe” to make things happen for me during the first part of last year, the second part saw me going back to fully trusting God and my faith to carry me through. During early 2019 I had a spiritual disconnect with my faith and religion, which is a topic for another post. But God did not allow me to fully distance myself from the herd. He led me back home.
Looking back I realized that God did not answer every prayer, nor did He give me everything I asked for, Sometimes I still grumble why I didn’t get this or that. But the ever patient Father that He is, He never struck me down in my moments of ungratefulness. Instead He just allows me to feel the disappointment and by His grace I am able to walk myself through those human emotions. He didn’t give me everything I asked for, but with what He did give me, He surpassed all my so-called visualizations about them. Jacob’s birthday was a wonderful celebration. I really felt proud of JC and I for giving our son a Jollibee party, something other families could only hope for. Jesus restored me to good health and healed my PVCs, which apparently worsened because of work-related stress. I lost my income but God continued to sustain JC’s work and position and blessed him with a reasonable raise. We were able to go to the US, and if you’ve ever had the chance to watch my amateur vlogs, you’d know how much I cherished our vacation there. Our trip was everything I hoped for and more. God equipped my sister and Dad with the means to take us there, and that was Him answering my request. Of course, it was also God who gave JC and Jacob their visas. Everything worked out.
2019’s theme was FAMILY. Oh and I would be remiss if I didn’t mention as well that God blessed my in-laws with a new home in Tagaytay. Which still goes well with the theme of FAMILY. Now there’s a bigger place where JC’s side of the family could gather, a place that Jacob fondly calls the “Windy House”. So you see, last year God blessed our family through experiences and important material things that allow us to gather and create new memories. Those are the blessings I wouldn’t trade for anything. Those blessings blow scripting and visualization out of the water.
2019 was an amazing year. And this year I have chosen a word that would guide JC, Jacob and I. It’s my first time to choose a word and “have” a word, but it’s definitely one I need to abide by: DISCIPLINE. We all know what it means. It’s basic and easy to remember. And I felt like I needed to start with something basic, but firm. Discipline.
I shall talk about it more on my next blog, and which areas of my life I plan to implement it. For now, I just want to greet the world a Happy New Year, and I hope your heart is at peace.