What rest?

What rest?

Is there anything that can compare to the joy a mother feels when her toddler has finally conked out after a long day of playing and has fallen asleep?! To be honest I always look forward to this part of my day because I can finally rest rest. Throughout the day when my husband or mom or sister takes care of Jacob so I can get some rest, I never actually get to rest. My mind is always racing, always anticipating that I would be summoned for something which only THE mommy could fix. Thankfully there aren’t a lot of instances like that, as my family has learned to be totally in charge of the rascal. But a stay-at-home-mom never really rests throughout the day.

So when Jacob is finally asleep, my heart leaps! I can finally let my muscles relax and take a deep breath, and stretch my legs and put about 1% of my worries aside. The bairn is sleeping, and I only have to be as quiet as a mouse while I spend the next hour or so doing what a normal adult does and that is to Netflix and literally chill. After watching I get some reading done, then pray and go to sleep. But really I have one eye open just in case Jacob wakes up in the middle of the night and tries to get out of bed. So actually…toddler moms never really rest fully. It’s never a premium quality sleep. Just basic. Just enough zzz’s to fuel you for the next day when you’ll be doing the same thing over again.

But, the days are long and the years are short. And despite not having fully rested for 643 days now (wow!) (October 12, 2016 was when I first started feeling what I didn’t know then were pregnancy symptoms), I really wouldn’t trade this for anything. I love spending entire days with Jacob, knowing every single thing he does, every activity that captures his attention, every hearty laughter he lets out from his belly, every fake cry, every poop, every fascinating moment I see him playing by himself or entertaining himself with books, every face he makes when I introduce him to different kinds of food, everything. I love not missing out, and not having the fear of missing out. I love seeing him experience things for the first time. It’s better, far more rewarding than any five-star sleep I could ask for. Because in the blink of an eye, this stage will be over, and he will be independent enough to wander far and I will not see everything. But when that time comes I will look back at these months and be absolutely thankful that I had the opportunity to be a stay-at-home-mother, and it’s the best damn job I have ever signed up for in my life. 🙂

Lainey xx

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